Saturday, November 20, 2010

You Want Irony, I'll Give You Irony

Some "Characters"
The DREAM (Development, Relief and Education for Alien Minors) Act is a bit of liberal legislative nonsense that proposes otherwise deportable and/or illegal alien that are high school graduates be granted citizenship if they:
  • Server two years in the military
  • Go to a 4-year college
  • Have lived here for 5 years
  • Arrived here as minors and...
  • Are of "good moral character"
Good moral character is an actual legal term.  It means that one hasn't murdered, peddled in child porn, raped someone, been in the mafia, smuggled illegal aliens, commited crimes against the government, trafficked in firearms, laundered money, is or ever has been a prostitute, an alcoholic, passport fraud, failure to appear...blah blah blah.

Do any of those stick out to you?

Here's the ones that stick out for me, but don't seem to register in a moonbat's brain:
  • smuggled illegal aliens
  • commited crimes against the government
  • passport fraud
Ok, so maybe said alien that'll be going to school on your dime didn't smuggle any aliens into the country.  But he or she was smuggled in, no?  I mean...he or she is here correct?

Also, if being an illegal alien isn't a crime against the US government what is?  Not paying taxes?  That, too.

When they came here illegally, do you think they brought their passport?

I'm pretty sure the people in that picture are guilty of those three items.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Super Happy Fun Time!! (For CEOs Only)

I realize that these are dangerous times, what one writes on the World Wide Web can come back to bite you...in many ways.  But especially if one is writing something critical of their company.  Hopefully I've done a decent enough job to keep my complete identity a "secret".

The company for which I work announced yesterday that we were purchased by a bigger, better company.

The company that bought us doesn't have "an East Coast presence".  Translates into "this building will not have an employee presence".  That's my paranoia...of course the company line is "Things are fine, this is just like when we bought that other company".

The difference I see is that...uhm...we bought the other company, this time we're being bought.  I saw what happened to the employees of the company we bought.

We recently had a very good quarter.  Everyone got raises.  I got a 3% raise.

The interesting thing about this is that the CEOs of this company recently met with the board and had received raises as well. 

The President got his salary doubled.  Did you see that word?  Doubled.  His base salary moved from the 7 figure realm into the 8 figure realm.  BASE SALARY.  That's not counting bonuses, restricted stock options, "all other compensation" and non-equity incentive plan compensation.

Let that sink in.

I refuse to begrudge a man for being successful.  I will fault a man seeing the writing on the wall, pulling the cord on that golden parachute and leaving everyone else with the peckers in the breeze.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

Things I Like And Dislike

Things I Dislike:
  • Nancy Pelosi
  • People who say "suposably"
  • Drivers who enter the freeway and cut immediately across three lanes of traffic when there was no one in the right lane anyway
  • People who don't know who Harry Reid is
  • People who pull up to convenient stores and leave their headlights on, shining into the store at 5:30am
  • People who park right in front of a gas station's front doors, instead of the parking spots because "they're just running in".  As if everyone else is there for a sleepover
  • People saying, "I'm well" when asked how they are, but have terrible grammar everywhere else.  It's like the one thing they remember from English 101
  • Not ending their adjectives in "ly". "I'm doing terrible"; "I'll go quick"; "This is done very easy"; "You're acting very obnoxious"
  • Adverb overusage
  • Adverbs
  • People who say, "really mediocre".  How can something be very average?
  • People that can't spell "lose".  The internet is full of these people.  "You are going to loose at Call Of Duty if you don't cheat"
  • Grammar elitists
  • People that pull out from a side street right in front of you only take a left or right hand turn one quarter of a mile ahead
  • Racial double standards
  • Wires & cables
  • College professors
  • Inane, useless, banal Facebook updates
  • Facebook (how I got sucked into it is beyond me)
  • Having to answer as to why I "haven't been on Facebook lately"
  • Myspace (happy I held out on that virus distributor)
  • Mafia Wars
  • Harry Reid
  • Pop-up ads 
  • Drivers that lack the foresight to see that the light may turn red while they are sitting in the middle of the intersection, so they pull out and when the light turns green for my traffic to move, we can't go anywhere.  And they just sit there looking in their rear-view.
  • Pizza that burns the roof of my mouth
  • People who use all these websites and click on pop-up ads and end up with an infected PC
  • People at work who think, because I work in IT or I am "good with computers", I will fix their disgusting, infected, pornloaded, home computers that they have no idea got in such a condition
  • Me being too nice of a guy to say "no"
  • Those same people that then bring in their computers with no discs, no cables, no power cords - nothing - and ask me to put our company's Windows operating system on it
  • People that want to talk to me while I'm sitting in a bathroom stall.  It's just a bit creepy for me
  • DIANE FUCKING KEATON
  • Shoppers that drive up and down the parking lot for 10 minutes, to find a spot that help them avoid a treacherous a 2 minute walk
  • That same driver, that will block an open space to wait for the car that's pulling out 2 spaces closer
  • Having to listen to a friend's band and tell them how good they are
  • Those that think his name is pronounced John "Bon-ner", not "Bay-ner"
  • People who say "Shhedule"
  • Natalie Portman
  • Lists of things people hate
  • Sociology professors
  • Peanut farmers that turn into presidents
  • My wife always asking where I am going or what I am doing
  • Trucker hats - not really original there.  Everyone, except those that wear them, hates these hats.
  • Sean Penn
  • Reality shows that consist of some Brit teaching us how to dress, vacuum, raise our children, dust, get a job, drive...
  • Liberals
  • People that don't understand the importance of having a good pen
  • Snopes.com
  • Wikipedia
  • Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz a.k.a Jon Stewart
  • The Daily Show
  • People that get their news and/or facts from the last three bullet items
  • Tolerant, open-minded, LGBT friendly people that use the term "Teabaggers"
  • People who say "Huzzah!"
  • King Of Wikipedia always asking for money
  • People that would even consider giving them money
  • RPM based UNIX systems
  • People with awesome, bleeding edge cell phones that have the default ring tone, particularly the Verizon tone
  • Dan Rather
  • Office printers
  • Standard definition
  • Michael Moore
  • College kids
  • GIMP
  • Philosophy professors
  • Katie Couric
  • People who steal political signs from someone else's yard
  • "Support The Troops: Bring Them Home" bumper stickers
  • Gollum
  • The British version of The Office
  • John Romita Jr.
  • Joe Quesada
  • Hollywood actors and their political opinions
  • Rappers that think they're basketball players
  • Basketball players that think they're rappers
  • People that are better than I at online shooters
  • Giada De Laurentiis steadfastly refusing to do her show in the nude
  • Every "scandal" being dubbed "*gate".  "Monicagate", "Rathergate", "Billygate", "Ketchupgate", "Kanyegate"
  • Kanye West
  • Vegetables
  • Phisheads
  • Fish
  • Staples, the office supply - not the store
  • Maggie Gyllenhaal's ugly, ugly face
  • People that play quiddich for real
  • sendmail.conf
  • Skateboarders
  • Unfinished lists
  •  

    Sunday, November 14, 2010

    While I'm At It

    The wife is away at her sister's house for the day.  That rhymed.

    So I'm sitting here playing my XBox, which I haven't had the chance to play in months.  When I turned it on the other day, it had been nearly 300 days since I last turned it on.

    It was given to me by my wife before we had our son, and with it she bought two of the newest games that were just released at the time: Bioshock 2 & Bad Company 2.

    That's how long it's been.

    So, if you play as well and want to make feel like I'm not wasting the money for the Xbox Live membership - add me to your friends list by clicking this picture:

    Not "Nude Pics Of Rima Fakih" Good - But Not Bad None Nevertheless

    While I often wonder if Google is counting my own visits to my blog, this nice, round number is what I saw today when logged in:


    I'd like to thank those of you that do stop by, even though I'm still a bit green and lack any kind of innovative, intriguing or interesting perspectives.

    In honor of that number I present someone that I think represents that number on a scale of 1 to 10, Isla Fisher, not a Murloc.
    8.5
    Isla's cute and you can find more of her here. She's no 10, but she's no Murloc either.

    A Perfect 10
    Celebies.com is an amazing website with some of the most amazing photography since the invention of the Slap-Chop.  You can literally spend hours there pouring over the amount of photojournalism.

    Vince and his Slap-Chop after the break.  

    You're gonna love this nuts.  This girl didn't.