Friday, November 26, 2010

Obama Splits His Face Apart Playing Basketball

In what can only be described as a metaphor for the complete split he's done to this country, Barack Hussein Obama cracked his mouth open playing some basketball with his friends today

His plans to split Jerusalem will require a loss of an ally, more Middle East unrest, embolden people such as Ahmadinejad (I don't knead to teh googlze that name to get it right) and spit on a people that have done more for this country while being ruthlessly slaughtered (by 80 year old women, not Muslims)  for centuries - as opposed to the 12 stitches he needed to fix his ugly, worthless face.

It hurts so baaaad....help me!
I pray to all of these people that video comes out of this.  Gibbsy told reporters he was "inadvertently struck by someone's elbow".  I hope it was some Marine, Navyman, some Army soldier or a "corpsman" that inadvertently blasted his lips apart with his (hopefully HER) elbow.

That picture there is from the Foxnews.com story and could he look like anymore of a little sissy?

As I'm writing this, I'm even starting to wonder if it was an elbow.  Follow...

Preferably they'd want Obama The Kenyan portrayed like some mixture of Martin Luther King Jr and Kevin Garnett, fighting it out in the block or the low post...going up for a board and coming down against an errant elbow.  Maybe driving to the lane, laying some wicked crossover on some Secret Serviceman and, so confused by Barack Hussein Obama's mad skillz that he lets an elbow fly, catching the "president" in the chops.

You know, this image.

However, I think it went more like this:

I bet he was standing out at the 3-point line begging for the ball like Jackie Moon promising he won't do anything if he gets it.  The rest of the teams trying to get in a good workout for the day can't stand listening to him anymore and they pass it to him.  However, we know he can't throw so it's probably safe to think that the King Of The Moonbats can't catch either - so the ball probably went quickly through his extended arms into his face resembling something like this:


I would love that.  I hope that happened.  I hope it happened and he bled all over the court and almost started to cry and said "You brode my node...Allahu Akbar my node id buthted."

Black Friday Deals vs Cyber Monday Deals vs Tom Brady's Hair

Or, Justin Bieber vs Tom Brady.

Nary a day goes by in the world of Boston sports talk radio does a caller phone in saying, "Tawm Braydie needs tah cud his haay!  Dis is ridickalus.  That girlfriend a his...Gizzle or whatevahs got him wrapped around her pinkie finguh.  He's toynin into a liddle Nancy." (particularly after a loss).

It's topic dujour around here among some people.

Let me introduce you to the offensive line of the New England Patriots:

Nancy Boys?  Decide For Yourself.
Most of those guys have long hair, some are even adorned with pony tails.  I would hardly call any of these individuals "nancy boys".  In fact, I'd call them "sir" and move from their path faster than green grass through a goose.

As to the fiercely divisive topic of Tom Brady's hair style I have someone of a scientific breakdown of what's going on.  Here it is...

In the subset of people who live within New England who are also football fans there are 4 types of people:

1) Those that give a shit about Tom Brady's hair
B) Those that don't give a shit about Tom Brady's hair

Elevating this to Arturo "Thunder" Gatti and "Irish" Mickey Ward 4, we've all heard Justin Bieber "rap" about Tom Brady's Hair...this gave verification to the morons that think Tom Brady's hair means something other than it's fucking cold here in New England.  Really, look it up on Shitipedia and check out a section called "Climate"...I'm sure they have one.
Call up Mr. Brady, tell him leave his hair to the guy who sings 'Baby'.
Video of the worldwide musical sensation after the jump...so you're not forced to look at it.  You watch it, you made the choice and you can't blame me.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

North Korea Nuts, Fires Missles Into South Korea

Some Goose-stepping For Our Master
Yep.

Thank God we sat in front of these people at the UN and were told how horrible a nation we were in regards to our human rights atrocities.  North Korea was particularly “concerned by systematic widespread violations committed by the United States at home and abroad."


Sometimes my wife is pissed off at something else, maybe it could be the lady next door, the dog, her sister, her sister the dog, a jar she can't open or maybe the vacuum cleaner is broken so she needles me slowly and methodically throughout the day until she gets me to yell.  That's called "projecting".


I'm sure Nutty Korea is just projecting. Kim Jong Il may have poured some slightly soured cream in his morning coffee that day and just needed to pick a fight with someone.  This leads me to believe Kim Jong Il must have spilled his coffee all over one of his slate-grey/olive-green uniforms.  Man, that guy is crazier than a run over dog...no wonder the rumors exist that he's dead and a body double is walking around.

Anyway...Bizzaro Korea killed 2 people, injured 16 at a disputed border prompting The Normal Korea to scramble some jets in retaliation.  Hopefully no innocent people trapped within Krazy Korea are hurt and find a way in all the confusion.

I would bet all the money in my wallet that the theme song to Benny Hill is on loop in Kim Jong Il's palatial estate.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Paul Loves This

There are things which I like.

Things I really like.

Things that are things that are completely awesome.

Things I for which I would kill.

And of course things for which I can only dream

Then, there are things I find - completely by surprise - that were right under my nose the whole time.

Autumn Resser plays a geeky little goody-goody scientist on the fluffy show "No Ordinary Family.  I watch it when I can, but had no idea what was under that lab coat.

By the way, Animals is the best Floyd album...there is no debate.  However, Atom Heart Mother is the finer of the following representations...