Thursday, December 30, 2010

Brett Favre Fined - A Tribute

In honor of Brett Favre getting fined, I decided to repost the Jenn Sterger Playboy pics post from a few days ago.

Bad form?  Yes, on my part.

On her part, nearly perfect form.

She's hot, and Favre won't even notice the 50k deduction in his paycheck tomorrow - but she's no Sofia Vergara.

And in what might be considered one of the most amazing things ever, two women on the same show are in my current top three.

Sofia Vergara is and always will be #1.  But, and I'm a total perv for this but Sarah Hyland has made the list.

I'm sure she's very, very proud that she's on my top three list.

Yes, I'm nearly twice her age...but she is 21, so that's OK right?  RIGHT?

Anyway, on with the nude.
















And I stumbled upon this candid cleavage pic of some Michigan State Fan whose breasts might rival those of Jenn Sturger's breasts...but the photographer doesn't seem to think her face measures up:


By the way, there's something about candid pics like that.  Not this one in particular, as the girl is obviously proud to be showing off her large tracts of land.  GIS "candid" and you'll know what I mean.  The girl next door type...awesome.

So uhm, Merry Christmas and I'm going to hell because of this, I hope you're happy...asshole.

I Really Was, Honestly

I was going write a post this morning on the NFL MVP.

I was going to write about Michael Vick vs Tom Brady.

I was going to illustrate how Michael Vick is Ross Perot.

But, I'm married to a big dummy.  So it's going to have to wait until tonight.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Patriots Vs Bills

I already broke down what Manning has done lately, and it's shite.  Tom Brady is lapping this pouty little dome player.  It's like Brady's got a Formula One car for a brain and arm, while Manning has a Big Wheel.

Imagine if Brady got to play football in a building meant for baseball or that soccer bullshit?  Imagine his stats if the AC was always on, or the heat was always set at a nice comfy 72 degrees?  Imagine if we pumped in fake crowd noise because, even though he's playing in this imaginary dome...the "fans" still weren't capable of making it loud enough?  Imagine if the Patriots got to change the rules each year so that their receivers, who are all Hall Of Famers anyway, are allowed to get open more easily?

Anyway...

The Pats are playing the Bills today.  The Bills = LOL.

The last time the "Wide Right" Bills beat the Patriots was September 7, 2003 by a score of 31-0. If you remember (or even care) that was the year the Patriots dumped Ty Law and he went to the Bills. It was the Patriots home opener that year and the Patriots went on to win the Super Bowl. Wow, scary Bills.

Let's add 2001 (their first Super Bowl winning year), the Patriots have gone 119-39.  Brady has a 63.7% (2971-4667) attempt to completion ratio...and yes, I counted the year he missed. One game, went 7 for 11 for 65 yards.

That was the year after this happened to the Raiders:

Haha - Read The Rules
and they've been crying, literally, ever since.

This also happened that day:
Celebrate With Me My Children
and
We Celebrate With You Father Ted
Those were good years.  These are good years to.  2008 was the greatest year of football I've ever seen, except for one single play.

Boston is expecting about 112-136" of snow tonight into tomorrow.

If you've noticed, particularly this year, the Patriots have been pretty good in the snow:
  • The Patriots haven't committed a turnover in five straight games, an NFL record.
  • The Patriots didn't allow touchdown since the third quarter against the Detroit Lions on Thanksgiving until the third quarter Sunday against the Chicago Bears. The Patriots scored 14 touchdowns in that span. Only one other team in the past 20 years has scored 14 straight touchdowns, the Philadelphia Eagles in 2004.
  • Tom Brady hasn't thrown an interception on 268 consecutive attempts. On the other end of the spectrum, New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez hasn't thrown a touchdown in 81 consecutive attempts.
  • Since 2001, the Patriots have an impeccable 45-1 record when one of their running backs has at least 20 attempts. Their astonishing .978 win percentage is well ahead of the next-best team in this stat, the Indianapolis Colts at 63-11 (.851 win percentage).
  • In their past three games when it snows, the Patriots have led at halftime by an aggregate score of 109-0. It's supposed to snow Sunday at Gillette Stadium.
Thank you Tim Graham.

If those numbers don't impress you there can only be 4 reasons:
  1. You don't give a shit about football, fair enough.
  2. You're a Colts fan slowing realizing the Manning vs Brady debate is over.
  3. You're a Chargers fan.  Go fuck yourself San Diego.  Most accurate "action" figure ever. EVER.
  4. You're a Raiders fan.