Sunday, August 14, 2011

Alan Moore Is a Fuckwitardiot

Look, I'm 'aving tea 'n biscuits. I'm Bri'ish after awl, yes?

Alan Moore, the much beloved and be-bearded "genius" that is Alan Moore, who about 30 years wrote one of the most highly over-rated books is a Fuckwitardiot.

Since the book was written, Moore hasn't stopped telling the world how much it "changed the comic industry". He's also never stopped telling us how he wrote "lots of other stuff, like uhm, Marvelman".

Alan Moore can't stop talking about himself, and the movie gave him an even bigger platform to spew his weird, acadamia style egotism.

Listen, people have moved on. Everyone bought your book and said they loved it because the zeitgeist states they must.  Unless they like it they don't understand comic book history or something like that.  You must state that Watchmen is in your top 10 list of great comics of all time and then state it changed comics forever and you're allowed into the comic book club. 

Alan Moore and his garbage books are like that Phish fan everyone knows.  They love to tell you how amazing they are.  That Trey Anastasio is one of the "best guitarists ever".  And that if you don't listen to them or like them, "you just don't get it" or "you've got a closed mind".

Bullshit.  It's crap.  Watchmen was one of the most difficult books to get through in my life.  I felt like I was doing homework.  The problem's a cliche filled piece of crap that becomes more and more predictable with each page turn.  Other than a giant vagina crashing on NYC...the allegory and metaphors were so easily accessible, it was plain ass boring - and not mention entirely way too long. That store could be told in a 3 issue mini.  But Moore loves to hear his own voice, so he overwrites and it's hundreds of pages of drivel about pirates and Vietnam and Nixon.  Wow, so edgy and deep.  :eyeroll:

But SHUT THE FUCK UP! You want nothing to do with the comic book "industry" then stop fucking talking about it you narcissistic freak.

Jason Aaron, who has written more readable stuff in 5 years than Moore did in his entire career, said it better than I could.  And Aaron grew up actually liking Mooreon.

1 comment:

  1. I liked Watchmen. Hated V for Vendetta, though. everything you said about Watchmen applies double to that piece of crap.


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