Saturday, September 17, 2011

Obama + The Constitution = Toilet Paper

I hate you and your stupid Constitution
It's obvious to anyone with half a watt of voltage running through their brain-matter (that automatically excludes 24% of the country) that Bamm-Bamm doesn't give two shites about the United States Constitution.  Sidenote, who in the world can "Strongly Approve" of this thunderously idiotic boy-man?  How can 1 quarter of our country still be "Strongly" supportive of this guy?  What needs to happen for them to disapprove?  Does he need be playing air drums to some Jay-Z song and accidentally launch some nukes into the California mountains?  Does he need to lose control of his bladder during one of his Presidential Screeches and piss his pants?  Maybe he needs to get on TV and actually tell people to fuck off, instead of fucking us all behind closed doors.

So anyway, the Washington Times had a nice Op/Ed piece from writer Robert Knight listing the ways in which this donkey has either ignored, violated or otherwise defecated upon your Constitution.  You see, the Constitution was put in place so people like him cannot gain power.  It's basically an instruction manual for avoiding a Barrack Obama.

It's almost like when they were writing it, they had just gotten back from a time travelling experience with Doc and Marty to the year 2011 (because they wanted to see what it was like the year before the Mayan calander ends) and saw the state of the nation.  They watched him screaming at Congress on TV (once they got used to the idea of TV, Marty charmingly explained to them what it was because they thought we now keep our presidents trapped in little boxes so they cannot be harmed) and were in shock.  They had just fought tirelessly and lost many Americans to gain independence against this type of tyranny, fascism and totalitarianism.  They had to do something.


Eat Lead, Slackers
Terrified, they had to get back to their time and draft some kind of protection against exactly this type of president.  Unfortunately, because the DeLorean was so poor in gas efficiency they were pulled over and thrown in the slammer by the future great-grandchild of the school principal.  They were also met by protests from animal rights activists as they were led into prison because the clothes they were wearing were fashioned from real leather.  The Delorean was impounded by the tow-truck operator (the great-grandchild of Biff) and they sat in jail until a plan came together and they were able to find a place to get the car up to 88mph.  They could not, in good conscious allow this future to happen (despite warnings from Doc that messing around with the space time continuum could have dire, unforeseen consequences).  Doc tells them it could mess things up so badly for so many people, the outcome could be harmful to so many people.  The climax comes when a camera slowly pans to their faces and they state, in unison, "We ARE the people".


There was a musical montage in there somewhere as well.


So yeah, Bamm-Bamm has to "dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge" the Constitution because it's explicitly, not implicitly, designed to stop people like him.

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