Saturday, December 17, 2011

Kevin Smith Disses Robert Kirkman?

I will grind anything I make into dust.
Kevin Smith, you know that fat guy that played roles in movies where he doesn't talk because he's too stupid to remember lines, is into comics.  He's even tried writing a few but the one's I've tried to read like Green Hornet or Kato were pure shit.  Ok, his work on Daredevil was good, but take a look at who he was working with and what story arc he trailed.

Even he knew Green Hornet would suck, as did the movie, because every issue has about 20 different variant covers.  That is some hack bullshit right there.

Anything movie the guy makes he wants to write a comic about it too, so he can double dip on the profits from 16 year old stoners.

Anyway, I'm currently reading a real comic called Preacher by Garth Ennis.  It's widely regarded as one of the best graphic novels of all time.  Notice nothing from Kevin Smith is anywhere on any of those lists...he's a comic fan that got an in because he's a celebrity, and we all know how the comic world loves their moonbat Hollywoodland folk.

But that isn't the point, the point is Kevin Smith's foreword in the second Preacher trade paperback.

Here's the part that really made me LOL:
"Controversial," as we all know, is often a euphemism for "interesting and intelligent." Although the pages of PREACHER are filled with avant garde takes on the nature of God and the questionable manner in which religion is followed by the masses without thought (not to mention renderings of brutal bloodletting and graphic, often disturbingly funny violence), this is not a book full of sensationalistic crap writing or drawing. To me, sensationalistic crap writing is lopping off the hand of a time-honored character to give him a "new direction," and sensationalistic crap drawing is page after page of uber-nimrods penned with little regard for proper proportions, set against background deficient splash pages.
Time out for full disclosure:
  • I'm Catholic.
  • Last time I was in church I got married.
  • I'm not particularly religious in any way.
  • I don't care what religion anyone is, as long as their religion doesn't justify strapping bombs onto handicapped people and wheeling them down a ramp into a  crowd of people.
  • Preacher is very critical of religion, and the religion used in the book is Christianity.
  • I was not offended, the book is awesome.
First, he starts off by insulting people.  He changes the definition of a word to fit his argument of anyone that disagrees is "uninteresting" and "unintelligent"...typical Hollywood elitism.  Why is it the moonbats out in Hollywood are the first to take on any causes celebre like if some athlete uses the word "fag" or says something "controversial"...they all gather their pitchforks, toss on their PC club uniforms and march in unison against the oppression.

Of course, insulting Christians is always OK.  You'll never see the beautiful people get all up in arms for the constant attacks on Christians in this country.  Muslims, Buddhists, Hunduk etc.  (Again, I'm not particularly religious, just sticking up for those that might be).

Then he uses the term "avant garde".  People that say avant garde should be double punched in the colon.  Hard.

This should be on the cover of every Kevin Smith comic.
So. Anyone that reads good comics knows he's talking about Robert Kirkman and the main character of Rick in The Walking Dead, another book considered to be among the very best of all time.  You may have even heard of the television show that's blowing up the ratings.

Robert Kirkman vs Kevin Smith is like me vs Carl Lewis.  I'm lucky if I can run to the bathroom.  Kevin Smith is lucky if he can put a coherent story line together for 22 pages.

In closing, I'll use Smith's own words to insult him...
The last time I said something nice about PREACHER, the good folks who compile the trade paperbacks at DC pulled a quote from my gushing praise of the parties involved in bringing this fierce new book to life, and they printed it on the cover - along the top and above the title....the pull quote was "More fun than going to the movies!," complete with my name and then-filmography printed underneath (Clerks, Mallrats)...And - as with all easy targets - some zero took perhaps the easiest shot in the world at me.  Hiding within a then-current issue of The Comics Journal, at the bottom of the 'Viva la Comics!' section, was my quote and credits - over which was the oh-so-damn-witty headline "Well, maybe one of yours..."
I agree with the person Smith deems a "zero" (there's that moonbat elitism again, they just can't help themselves can they?) Kevin Smith and his movies suck.


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