Saturday, January 22, 2011

Update On The Crazy Condo-Cabal Condo-Mate

This morning, my wife allowed me to sleep in...I had an exhausting week and she kinda gave me the morning off.  I always wake up with the baby on the weekend because my wife does it all week long, as I leave for work at 5am.

This morning, the dog apparently needed to go out.  So she put a bunch of clothes on the baby, leashed the dog and walked them both down to the end of the driveway.

Before she even made it past our walkway, The Neighbor came outside and followed my wife, approximately 4 feet behind her all the way down the driveway...not saying a word and watching everything she did.

Do you hate when people say, "Can you say, 'aaawkward'" or "Can you say, 'weeeird!'"? but...

Can you say "Creeeeepy"?

So needless to say I placed another call to the Condo Cabal.  The next one is going to be to the police for a restraining order.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Tell Us Your Best Revenge Pranks

Come on reader(s?)...let's hear some of your best mischievous pranks.  I've got a unbalanced neighbor needing a slight nudge in the right direction!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

More Crazy Neighbor

As I previously mentioned, the lady next door is a certifiable loonstick.  I understand her getting upset about the dog shit, and my wife really, really should have picked it up...I'd be pissed off too.

However, I thought it was over.

As is usually with the case with people that are all alone, miserable and see two semi-happy people going about their lives, it never is truly over.

We got a letter from the Condo Cabal with a list of her complaints:

  • Dog peeing on snow
  • Dog feces on sidewalk
  • Dog unleashed
  • Visitors and delivery drivers blocking her driveway
  • Shoveling snow in front of her garage
If we do it again, we face a $25 fine.

Now...I freely admit to the dog stuff...we did it.

However, the rest of the stuff she's simply making up.  Are we to quit our jobs and wait outside in case the UPS guy comes...and direct him where to park?  Or go wait outside if we order a pizza?  When my 97 year old grandmother came over to visit, were we to make her walk up our very steep driveway?  Or pull the car up, get her out and then move the car?

She's obviously sitting there at the window, doing nothing with her life.

Her claim of shoveling snow onto her driveway is a gross exaggeration.  What happened was this:  She was so upset by the dog shit...she started playing games with how she shovels snow in front of her unit.  She shovels a small path through which only she can pass, leaving us to walk through the snow...because our unit is past hers.

So I have to worry about my wife falling in the snow with the baby because some fat, lonely kookbar who's only happy if she's miserable.

Worst part...she's a member of the Condo Cabal.  We don't stand a chance.  She has that tiny bit of, I hate to even use the word "authority", but some position on the Condo Cabal that she volunteered for so she thinks she's Paul Blart.

Honestly, the first words out of this lady's mouth when we were inspecting the house were, "I'm a member of the committee here".  I knew right there and then she was trouble.

We had amazing neighbors when at our last place...partly because we all didn't live wall to wall and partly because it was a family street, and even though we didn't have kids at the time, people were always outside and we were hanging out chatting, and just know...neighborly.

There's a book called "Screw Unto Others".  I need this book.  If anyone has this book and would loan it to me I would eternally grateful.

I've already changed my wireless network name to "Unit-28-Is-A-Lonely-Fatty"...but I need some better ideas.  I'm not very creative in this department. 

Whatcha got people.  And nothing that'll get me arrested or put up on charges.  I need the good stuff.